Expect Less From Others and More From Yourself!!!

The day I stopped expecting from him...My expectations from myself grew!!

And I must tell you...Its one of the best things to do!!

We expect from other and when they don't fulfill our expectations we feel bad about it.. It does not make any difference to the other person's life. But makes our life terrible. We start questioning ourselves whether we deserve it or not...

The best thing of expectation more from self is that our expectations are always fulfilled! We cannot hurt ourselves purposely and so we fulfill the expectations!!...:)

So...

Today's Lesson: Expect Less From Other And More From Yourself!!!!

Just one thing is enough to remind you of the past....

Silly, Stupid Me!!!

Today,
I woke up with a Smile on my face after almost three months!!! :-)
At first I thought Awesome climate... But you know climate is always awesome when we feel awesome inside!
I was feeling light... After deciding to let go off and just flow with life, I was actually feeling light inside!!!
I was feeling good about my self!!!
Alll this while when I was with him... I had lost all my self esteem. He always made me believe I was not good for him. But, today I feel he left me because he could not be the best for me.
Now, I am free.... I can do all the stupid things which I couldn't do with him! He was always that high class kind of guy... Loved going to posh restaurants and behaving like 30-something mature when we were jus teenagers, wearing only branded clothes, always drinking mineral water, and all those things which I thought were pathetic...
I mean how can a 19-20 years old guy do all those high class things?
We were totally opposite in this. Our choices differed like Sun and Moon!
For instance I am silly, like doing stupid things, I do mistakes and I dont understand what's wrong in being wrong sometimes???
Whereas he always told me sit properly, eat properly,  behave properly,  blah blah blah!!!
I loved him like anything and was ready to do anything for him....Even if that meant acting 10-15 years older than my actual age! I did it....Maybe to impress him or maybe just for his happiness, but I did all the those things. But in the process of trying to impress him I had stopp loving myself.
Now, I am free. I don't have to impress anybody. Nobody's gonna tell me that do it 'properly'. I can be silly,  stupid and wrong!!!
So...today's aim-"Be silly,  stupid and wrong. But love yourself!!!"

Out Of Blue!!!!

This is my only post about the past for my readers....
We were talking casually that day... As usual had a small tiff! As usual decided to breakup...
But the only thing which was not as usual was that he was so damn serious about the breakup!!!
I thought we would be back together. But I was wrong!
He said he "Needed space"!!!
And all these years I thought he needed me...
Suddenly everything changed!!!
We became You and Me...
I Love You became I love being Single...
His Care turned into Ignorance and My Smile turned into Tears...
And I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and he would come back.
But how and why will he come back when he is so much happy without me? All those years spent together meant nothing to him... He moved on so easily!!!!
It was really difficult for me to believe that he had forgotten everything.  And it was more difficult because till the very moment of breakup he was so nice to me! Yes, we have had arguments,  breakups but the thing was we always came back together!  How could he move on this time?
But after going through all these questions in my head again and again I finally decided it was not worth waiting for someone who could just leave me alone to enjoy his 'Single Status'!
So... now here I am..."After Break Up"! 

New Beginning...

Hash!!!!....Finally I have decided to move on...
Finally I have decided to let go...
Its been 3 months but I was just trying to get him back till yesterday!
I did every possible thing!!!
I requested him to gimme a chance!
I cried in front of him!
I fought with him for using me!
I tried to make him remember all our happy moments spent together!
How could I let go of him so early? We have been together for 3 years! Its not easy to forget such a long relation. And its most difficult to forget if the breakup came 'Out Of Blue'...
I din't see it coming!
In 3 years we have gone through breakup and patch for at least 30 times.
He said he needed space but he still loved me!!!
So i assumed he would come back in some days... Even he also told me that he may come back to me. I had loved him wholeheartedly for 3 years so i thought its OK to wait.
But how much time should I spend waiting????
Its been 3 months now...
I read a blog today which mentioned that the best thing to do for moving on is to write a blog...to express your feelings and I  have just realized Its True!!!
Initially I decided to blog about all my sorrows but then I thought how would I move on if I keep thinking about all those things over and over? So now while just penning down my feelings I have decided to move on...
I wont contact him again! I wont request him for a chance! After all what was my mistake if he din't love me???
Today finally after all the abuses, requests, tears, blaming games...I have decided to move on...:)